I'm a single Christian woman who has made up my mind that I am going on with Christ no matter what. I don't get a lot of dates with this mindset, but to me, it is important to date a Christian man who puts Christ first and practices celibacy. It seems that abstinence is not popular even among Christians even though the Bible calls it “sexual immorality.”
Galatians 5:19-21 tells, “Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” (See also Colossians 3:5)
I don't knock or judge anyone for their choices because we all have shortcomings, but I understand that sex is not “just sex. According to the Bible which is the Word of God marriage between a man and a woman is a beautiful picture of the gospel. Jesus, the Groom, sacrificially gives himself for His beloved bride, the Church. Marriage between a man and a woman is a picture of this redeeming love that God has demonstrated by giving up his Son to save us. I would say this is why God tells us in 1 Corinthians 6:18-20:
“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”
So, when it comes to a mate, I am not expecting perfection. I just don't want anymore “sort-of-kinda” relationships. Now I'm not an expert on relationships, but if there is one thing that I feel like God taught me over the years, it is that you should never settle for less than God’s best, so if a guy doesn't know Christ, then he is not a prospect for my mate because he can't give me the kind of love that I will give him. So, I wait because living a life of holiness is my goal.
“3-4 For God wants you to be holy and pure and to keep clear of all sexual sin so that each of you will marry in holiness and honor— 5 not in lustful passion as the heathen do, in their ignorance of God and his ways.” ̶ 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God….” ̶ 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
Again, I don’t knock anyone for their choices. But if you are a sexually active unmarried Christian consider your relationship with God. And I am going to leave that right there.
Yes, I continue to hear all the teenage clichés about why sex before marriage is not wrong, and I have been accused of using celibacy was a way to trap a man into marriage and much more. Statements like that used to discourage me, but I realize that in today's society sex outside of marriage is common even among Christians. So, I pray that we all would come to know Christ in His fullness.
I never dreamed as a child that I would be single at this age, but here I am waiting in this microwave, a burger king society where no one likes to wait for anything. Many people are at the point of thinking “I just can’t wait any longer. But trust me settling for a "sort-of-kind of love" is a horrible mistake. I know because I settled and rushed into marriage because I felt like I couldn't wait anymore. And what that marriage taught me was that I should have waited.
For those of who have chosen abstinence and struggle with burning passion, continue to wait patiently. God created us as sexual beings and waiting can be hard but God is a keeper. He really is. He keeps me and encourages me to hold on.
On the day that my ex husband walked away from our marriage that he was never really apart of the Lord gave me a word while I was sitting there feeling all the emotions that will come when you are in a city where you have no family and no money and no place to live. The Lord said "Lift up your head for your God is a restorer". The scriptures Joel 2:21-26 and Jeremiah 30:17 were also impressed upon my heart so when He was done speaking, I went and looked up those scriptures and my tears of fear and despair changed to tears of rejoicing.
Look at what God said:
Joel 2:21-26 (AMP) ... Fear not, O land; be glad and rejoice, for the Lord has done great things! Be not afraid, you wild beasts of the field, for the pastures of the wilderness have sprung up and are green; the tree bears its fruit, and the fig tree and the vine yield their [full] strength. Be glad then, you children of Zion, and rejoice in the Lord, your God; for He gives you the former or early rain in just measure and in righteousness, and He causes to come down for you the rain, the former rain and the latter rain, as before. And the [threshing] floors shall be full of grain and the vats shall overflow with juice [of the grape] and oil. And I will restore or replace for you the years that the locust has eaten—the hopping locust, the stripping locust, and the crawling locust, My great army which I sent among you. And you shall eat in plenty and be satisfied and praise the name of the Lord, your God, Who has dealt wondrously with you. And My people shall never be put to shame."
Jeremiah 30:17-18 (KJV) ... "For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after."
Jeremiah 30:17-18 drove me to knees in praise because in my carnal thinking, all I could see was that I am old and no man would want me now; that I would be alone for the rest of my life but clearly from what God said, that is not the way He sees me or His plan for me. So I gladly wait because I only want what He wants.
I want to encourage you who are waiting. I know it gets hard sometimes, but continue to wait and be of good courage. While you're waiting let God heal you from the pain that "sort-of-kind of love" brought to you and restore your heart so that when that one comes you won't hurt him/her because you're hurting. You know hurt people...hurt people. Remember your mate is praying and waiting on God too. God loves him too and one thing I have come to learn about God is that He will never lead us into temptation and destruction. So be careful to listen and honor His leadings and you will avoid a lot of heartache.
Deep down you don't want anymore "sort-of- kindas" relationships. If he doesn't know Christ then he can't give you the kind of love that you need or will give Him. Unmatched or unreturned love will never satisfy you. Wait, because the stick with you through the rough times, laugh with you in the good times, pray with you in the sad times, just be there cause its time is the kind of love you really want. Don't settle for the "kinda-sort-of" or "friends with benefits" kind of love.
God has blessed us all with Jesus Christ. I am always excited to fellowship with those who visit my site. Please share your thoughts in the comments section. If you haven’t ordered my book “Put The Word In Your Mouth”, order it at Amazon or at Barnes and Noble! I have been getting many testimonies of what a blessing it is from those who have read it. I believe it will be a blessing to you too. For autographed copies click here
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