Are Core Values Important in Relationships?

Dating or mate compatibility goes beyond shared interests, whether both people love music or are of the same faith. When choosing a mate, we must be focused on more than good chemistry. For instance, if friendship and service are most important to you, and the person you are dating values fame, and power, you will encounter many conflicts in the future. ​

I’m no dating coach or expert, but I’ve learned a thing or two from failed relationships. I now pay attention to things I did not before. In the book I Don’t Believe in Fairytales: Breaking Anti-Marriage Strongholds I talk about how God showed me that I had developed anti-marriage strongholds that were actually working against my desire to be married and how to get rid of them.

​Breaking anti-marriage stronghold, and other hindrances that can prevent you from enjoying God’s best in marriage is an important step. Marriages fail because people never heal from a previous relationships and childhood traumas and also because they have no idea what their core values are.

Core values are what is important to you, your fundamental beliefs. Knowing your core values is helpful before getting into a relationship because miss-alignment of values in relationships creates trouble down the road. You should have clarity on what you want otherwise you could search and search and never find what you desire. Knowing your core values will help you be specific when you pray, relationships included. You definitely don’t want to get into a romantic relationship wishing the other person would change and share your values.

For instance, because of the call on my life I know that my mate must be someone who is not only comfortable with my call, but they must believe in it as much as I do and I believe they will probably have a similar calling. Their core values must compliment mine.
 
My List of Core Values are:
Committed to Christ                     Forgiving
Love and respect                           Integrity
Kingdom minded                          Loyalty
Monogamy                                     Peace
Respect                                            Trust
Sexual Expression                         Stability
Security
 
What are your core values?
So, with that said, how clear are you on your core values? If you haven't done so take the time to get clear on what's most important to you will save you a lot of problems in the long run. Many people aren’t very clear about what their values are. Here is a list of some core values that are important in relationships. Read over the following list Dig deep and get honest with yourself – it will open your eyes, and you may actually learn something about yourself. You can also use this list to examine what values you’re looking for in a match. 

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1. Achievements: Do you enjoy accomplishing things and being task oriented?
2. Adaptability: Do you appreciate the ability to adjust to changing circumstances with ease?
3. Adventure: Do you appreciate new and thrilling experiences?
4. Ambition: Do you value hard work, advancement and improvement?
5. Authenticity: Do you value saying and doing what is true to who you are?
6. Career: Do you consider your work or profession as very valuable?
7. Challenge: Do you appreciate confronting a demanding or difficult problem?
8. Communication: Do you believe that communication is important?
9. Committed to Christ: Do you cherish a relationship with Jesus and living by Christian principles?
10. Excellence: Do you enjoy doing something exceptionally well?
11. Compassion: Do you appreciate tenderness, kindness, and being sensitive to the needs of others?
12. Fame: Do you enjoy being recognized and known by other people?
13. Financially Responsible: Do you value living within your means, paying bills on time and saving on a regular basis?
14. Fitness: Do you like to be physically in shape and strong?
15. Forgiveness: Are you quick to forgive others?
16. Fun: Do you love to be playful, entertain others or clown around? Service: Do you enjoy helping others?
17. Generosity: Do you regularly give a part of your income to the church or those in need?
18. Humility: Do you like to be modest, unassuming or unpretentious?
19. Humor: Do you love to laugh and see the lighter side of things?
20. Independence: Do you love to be free from depending or relying on others?
21. Integrity: Do you like to say and do what is true to who you are?
22. Joy: Do you delight in a cheerful, sunny disposition
23. Justice: Do you treasure fair and impartial treatment for all?
24. Kingdom minded: Do you seek God’s will above all else?
25. Knowledge: Do you set a high value on learning and contributing information?
26. Leisure: Do you appreciate time to relax, just doing what you want?
27. Loving Relationships: Do you enjoy spending your time, energy and resources on your friends and family?
28. Loyalty: Do you highly value people who are faithful?
29. Monogamy; Do you believe being faithful to your partner is important?
30. Nature, Outdoors: Do you cherish God’s creation and the beautiful things in life?
31. Order: Do you value neatness with everything in place?
32. Passionate: Are you passionate and affectionate?
33. Peace: Do you cherish times of tranquility without conflict or chaos?
34. Power: Do you value influence and control?
35. Respect: Do you appreciate accepting and honoring each person?
36. Security: Do you appreciate freedom from danger or worry?
37. Sexual Expression: Do you any other STDs? Do you have any sexual phobias or perversions?
38. Solitude: Do you like to have time and space to be alone?
39. Stability: Do you treasure a balanced life with little change or upheaval?
40. Trust: Do you love people who are reliable and who keep their word?
41. Wealth: Do you love to have an abundance of money, possessions and/or property?
42. Wisdom: Do you set a high value on being discerning, wise or insightful?