Drawn, Not Driven: God’s Way to Repentance

When I was in my early 20s, I had just given my life to the Lord, but I was still struggling with smoking. One Saturday morning, I allowed a woman and her companions into my home for ministry. Before they left, they asked if they could pray for me.

As they began to pray, one of the women started asking God to make me sick until I stopped smoking. That disturbed me because I could not understand why someone would pray for me to become sick and that God would give me no rest until I stopped smoking. I stopped her mid-prayer and asked them to leave, because I did not agree with what was being spoken over my life.
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In that moment, I learned something that many still need to understand today: just because someone is praying, it does not mean they are praying in alignment with God.

There are some who believe that we should pray for people to be tormented, that they should have no rest, and that God should trouble them until they finally come to Him. While this sounds intense and passionate, it is not fully aligned with Scripture. We must be careful not to let our zeal override God’s truth. If you misunderstand how God works, you will pray outside of His will and call it spiritual warfare.

Hear this and hear it clearly: God does not partner with torment to bring someone into salvation. That is not His nature, and that is not His method. The Scripture does not teach us to pray, "Lord, torment them."

It teaches us to understand how the Spirit actually works. John 16:8 says, "When He comes, He will convict the world of sin, righteousness, and judgment." It does not say to terrorize, break them mentally, or leave them in confusion. The text says to convict.

What Is Conviction?
Well, conviction is not a vague feeling or emotional pressure. It means to expose, to bring into the light, to prove something is wrong, and to call for a response. Conviction is a gift from God, designed to guide us into truth, not to shame us or break us down. When God convicts, He brings clarity, not confusion, and extends an invitation to change, always rooted in love and patience. His goal is restoration, not punishment, drawing us closer to Him with each step.

Conviction is God shining light on what is out of alignment, applying truth directly to the heart in a precise and intentional way. It does not overwhelm with fear or hopelessness. Instead, it reveals a better way and assures us that change is possible through His help. This distinction is critical because many have misidentified voices and called them God.

Conviction is not condemnation, nor is it torment. It does not mentally torture or leave a person in confusion, and it is not vague guilt. Conviction is specific. It identifies what is wrong and calls for a response. The Holy Spirit convicts in very specific ways by directly exposing sin. He points to what is out of alignment and says, "This is not truth."

Hebrews 4:12 says the Word discerns the thoughts and intents of the heart. He reveals righteousness. He does not just say “stop.” He says, “This is the way. Walk in it.” He warns of where a path leads not to scare but to awaken. And most importantly He calls a person to repentance.

Romans 2:4 tells us that it is the goodness of God that leads to repentance. His kindness, patience, and long-suffering are extended so that hearts can soften and respond, not be driven by fear or punishment. It is the love of God, expressed through His goodness, that draws us back to Him.

When we understand the true nature of conviction, it changes how we respond to others. We no longer approach people with judgment or frustration, but with compassion and clarity. Our prayers begin to align with God’s character, which is full of truth, love, and hope. Ultimately, conviction leads to genuine repentance and restoration; it never leads to torment or destruction.

Why People Feel Unrest
Remember I said the woman prayed that I become sick and that God would give me no rest until I stopped smoking. It is important that I address this mindset.

Does a person living outside of God experience peace? No. Isaiah 57:21 says there is no peace for the wicked. But that lack of peace is not something we have to pray into existence because it is already the condition of a life out of alignment with God. So the absence of peace is not something believers must invoke through prayer; rather, it is the natural state of anyone whose life is not aligned with God. This unrest exists inherently, without the need for us to ask God to make someone feel uncomfortable.

Instead, the true concern is not about increasing discomfort but about seeking God to lift the spiritual blindness that prevents a person from understanding the truth. The prayer shifts from “Lord, make them uncomfortable” to “Lord, remove the blindness,” emphasizing a desire for clarity and revelation rather than distress.

According to 2 Corinthians 4:4, Satan, the god of this world, blinds the minds of unbelievers, preventing them from seeing the light of the gospel and the glory of Christ. This reveals where the real issue lies which is spiritual blindness.

Because of this, your authority is not in praying for hardship or distress but in proclaiming truth that breaks deception. You are called to shine the light of the gospel, exposing darkness and making truth visible.

This is where our prayers must align with God’s heart. When we intercede for others, we are partnering with His desire to redeem, restore, and bring people into relationship with Him. Our focus is not on punishment but on revelation, asking God to bring clarity, remove blindness, and allow truth to break through.

Now, while God is redemptive and not a tormentor, He is also not passive. There are times when He will interrupt a life, allow things to collapse, or remove what a person is depending on.

Consider Jonah, specifically Jonah 1:4, where God sent a storm. It was not sent to destroy him, but to turn him. Or consider the prodigal son in Luke 15:17, who "came to himself." That awakening did not happen in comfort, but in emptiness. Yet even in that moment, it was not destruction at work; it was mercy, creating an opportunity to return. God uses these moments not as acts of torment, but as doorways for restoration.

This must be understood in light of the cross. Isaiah 53:5 states that Jesus was wounded for our transgressions. Because Christ bore the punishment for sin, God is not dealing with people today by trying to punish them into submission. He is dealing with them from a place of mercy, patience, and a desire for repentance. As 2 Peter 3:9 indicates, He is not willing that any should perish. So, even when circumstances are allowed that shake a person’s foundation, the purpose is not condemnation but awakening. His mercy is present even there, providing a path back to Him.

So now we correct the language. You do not pray, "Lord, torment them." Instead, you pray, "Lord, draw them" (John 6:44), "Convict them" (John 16:8), "Open their eyes" (Acts 26:18), and "Break every stronghold that blinds them." You can also pray, "Lord, let anything they are leaning on that keeps them from truth be shaken." But all of this must remain under the covering of His mercy, His wisdom, and His will.

We are not called to control the process; we are called to stand in agreement with God. Therefore, as believers, our prayers and actions must reflect His heart. We do not seek discomfort or hardship for others. We pray for revelation, clarity, and the removal of every spiritual obstacle.

How To Pray For The Unsaved
No matter how impossible your family situation may look, no matter how resistant, distant, or hardened hearts may seem, never underestimate what God can do when you invite Him into the situation. When you begin to pray, when you ask Him for opportunities to speak truth, when you yield yourself as a vessel, things begin to shift in ways you cannot always see.

You must settle in your spirit that you are not praying to a reluctant God. You are praying to a God who desires to save. 1 Timothy 2:4 reveals that He desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. His desire to redeem them is greater than your desire to see them saved. So you are not trying to convince Him. You are coming into agreement with Him.

There is power in agreement. Jesus declared where two or three are gathered in His name, He is present. Invite a spouse, a friend, or another believer to stand with you in faith. As you pray, pray the Word. Call their name before God, and you stand on truth.

For example, you can pray something like this:

Heavenly Father, Your Word declares in John 6:44 that no one can come unless You draw them. So I ask You now to draw them. Pull them out of darkness and bring them into the knowledge of truth. Let every force that has held them be broken by the light of Your presence.

Father give them a heart to know You, according to Jeremiah 24:7. Turn their heart back to You. Let them recognize You as their God and return to You with their whole heart.

Father, I ask that they would encounter Your love in a way they cannot ignore. As it is written in Ephesians 3:18–19, reveal to them the depth, the width, the height, and the reality of Your love until every wall is broken and every lie is silenced.

And Father, according to 2 Corinthians 7:10, bring godly sorrow that leads to repentance and clear revelation of truth that causes them to turn, surrender, and be saved. I place them in Your hands. I trust Your timing; I trust Your mercy, and I trust Your power to save. In Jesus’ name, Amen.