Two are better than one; because it is well worth the effort. For if they fall, the one will lift up their companion: but woe to one that falls alone; for there is no one to help them up. Also, if two sleep together, then they arouse each other: but how can one become aroused all alone? And if one is overwhelmed, two can stand together; a threefold cord is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)
I see many married people take their marriage and their spouse for granted. They have forgotten what it was like to be alone. Every single person I talk with who is crying out for a life partner will tell you loneliness is the hardest part. You will also hear that it seems all the good men or women are married.
I was listening to Natalie Cole’s song “I'm Catching Hell (Living Here All Alone)". In the beginning of the song she tells the ladies “If you've got a good man you'd better keep him. The arguments that you have over petty things get over it. It’s not worth it because if he leaves you'll find out that it wasn't those real big things you loved about him. It was the real small things, things that you've seen a thousand times around the house but never paid any attention to, like helping with the groceries, helping in the yard, painting and repairing and paying the bills. She goes on to say that she could have given her relationship a chance to grow but she had to challenge it and be heard.
Many of you have a good man or woman and you are taking them for granted. They may not be all that you want them to be right now, but if you will close your mouth and pray God can change the both of you.
In Genesis 2:18 The LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a help meet for him. Then he created woman, not of dust of the earth, but from a rib of Adam. God did this for us, yet thousands of couples break up their marriage over some of the silliest things.
The Lord made us (man and woman) to be together, to fellowship together, to work together, and to enjoy life together. Solomon lays out some of the benefits of having someone by your side. He says there are great benefits in making the effort to be together. The first one is having someone there to help you up when you fall. He is not talking about falling down physically. He is talking about those times when we are emotionally down, and need someone to lift us up. Talk to a single person and see if this one is not at the top of the list. Having someone who cares and will encourage you is most valuable. Sure we have family members and friends but having your spouse, who should also be your best friend to confide in is totally different.
Solomon also says two people who sleep together affect each other and warm each other up. The original Hebrew word for warm refers to sexual arousal or stimulation. You will miss this one the most if the two of you don’t get your act together. You can run all over town sexing it up with this one and that one but it will grow old and it is dangerous too. Right now you may be thinking the grass is greener on the other side, but when you get there you will find the grass still withers because you are taking you with you to the other side.
Solomon also speaks about having someone to stand with you when you are under attack. If we serve the Lord we will all face attack from the enemy. Sometimes when you are under attack you can get to the point where you feel you cannot resist any more. A husband and wife are supposed to undergird and help each other when the other is feeling weak spiritually or physically.
Jesus said where two or three are gathered together in His Name, He would be there also. Solomon said a cord having three strands is very strong, and does not break easily. By standing together as one in the Lord, a bond is formed that the enemy can never break.
Lately you may be thinking about what it was like before you were married, how nice it was to be able to do as you please. See these thoughts for what they really are, lies from the devil. It was not that nice or else you would not have gotten married in the first place. No matter how bad the marriage is divorce causes unimaginable pain and suffering. If you are a woman who has a man who comes home at night, who does not run around on you and is putting a reasonable amount of effort into his marriage don't give up. Stop complaining to him and do your talking to the Lord and begin to speak the word of God over him, calling those things that be not as though they are. Give your husband another chance.
If you're a man reading this and your wife has been complaining or nagging. You should realize that when there is not enough closeness and connection in the marriage, women will start complaining about everything under the sun like things that need to get done around the house, responsibilities pertaining to the children, how free time is spent and so on. This is her way of saying she is unhappy and feels like she is being neglected and being taken for granted. It means that she really loves you and cares about the marriage. Thank her for showing you this and begin to pray with her, spend time with her, talk to her, compliment and pay attention. Show her that she's the most important thing in the world to you. If she doesn't respond right away don't push, be patient. Her trust needs to be rebuilt. If you demonstrate you can change you will convince her to give your marriage another try.
Bottom line is before you give up, give your marriage back to God, learn some new skills and make your marriage what you've wanted it to be from the start. You will thank yourself later!
God has blessed us all with Jesus Christ,
I am a woman who loves God and loves to encourage, equip, train, and motivate other others to grow stronger in their relationship with God through Jesus Christ and fulfill their God given destiny. In this blog I share what God shares with me. Sign up to receive these powerful teachings. Feel free to share your thoughts and comments.
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