9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11 Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. -- Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (ESV)
I woke up this morning with marriage on my mind and praying for marriages. When I look around at the state of some marriages my thoughts on marriage can sometimes seem like a fantasy because of what I believe about marriage. I believe God created and ordained marriage. I believe marriage is a choice made by two people who choose to be committed to each other. Then, these two people go before God and make a covenant with Him and to each other. I believe marriage is one of the greatest covenants established by God. I believe when a husband and wife can work together with the Holy Spirit, it is one of the most beautiful experiences that a human can have.
Covenants are rooted in actions, based on choices, not feelings. A covenant marriage is intended to be a lifelong fruitful relationship. When you choose to be covenanted and committed to someone in marriage you are vowing to remain steadfast in unconditional love, reconciliation, and sexual purity.
In a covenant marriage relationship:
YOU CHOOSE to give 100% of yourself to your spouse.
YOU CHOOSE to value your spouse more than yourself.
YOU CHOOSE to serve the other, and stand by each other through good times as well as hard times.
One of the best pieces of advice I've gotten about marriage was from a mother in my church who had been married close to 70 yea. She told me, "You won't feel like you love each other every day. Some days it may even seem like you hate each other, but you stand in God through the covenant you made with Him, and each other, and put God back in His rightful place at the head and trust Him to work it all out, and He will." She went on to say that keeping God at the center of marriage enables us to enlist His help to love our spouse when it seems like we can't.
I get what she was saying because on our own we can't love others the way God calls us to love them. God knows this so, He doesn't even expect us to, but He does expect us to come to Him, and lean on Him to help us love others.
Yes, I believe in marriage, and I believe it takes two people who have chosen to stay committed to each other to make it work though; and God must be at the helm, creating a threefold cord. A threefold cord is not quickly broken. When we reverence God and remember that He at the head of our marriage how we treat each other takes on a whole new meaning.
It is important that both husband and wife enter into a relationship with God first, so that marriage doesn't become an attempt to get something from a person that they can only get from God. God has been teaching me about putting His word in my mouth in every area of my life. In fact He had me write a book titled “Put The Word In Your Mouth: Believe God, Agree With His Word, Declare His Word, and Change Your Life”. Imagine what will happen if you put God's already established Word at the center of your marriage.
In his book called “The Good News About Sex & Marriage” Christopher West describes how earthly marital unions were established by God to be a type and shadow of the greater marriage between God and man. Trying to get something from people that only God can give will only end in disappointment. I believe this is the problem in many marriages that fail.
Another great piece of advice I received was from another person who had been married for more than 40 years. "A lot of couples stop dating after the wedding. This is a big mistake, she said. She quoted the words from a song made famous years ago by the Impressions, "The Same Thing It Took". She said the same thing it took to get your baby hooked, it's going to take the same thing to keep them.
I am divorced, (he has passed on) so I understand that sometimes divorce is necessary, but I still believe that believers can have godly marriages even in this day and time, even if they have failed before. I desire to be married again and I desire for this marriage to last throughout my lifetime this time. I have been waiting and praying for quite some time that my fantasy of a godly marriage will happen soon. By faith I believe I have already received this desire and that I will see it manifested in my life very soon.
I have covenanted with God and I believe He will help me be a godly wife and my husband will be a godly husband. A threefold cord is not quickly broken. When the two cords of the husband and wife are bound together, they are not easily broken, and when three strands are woven together, these three cords are not quickly broken. If the third cord or strand is God, then three are better than two. “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” −Mark 10:9 (KJV)
These are my thoughts on marriage. I would love to hear your thoughts and your testimonies.
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